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Kris Benson's Real Name (Odd Squad Teams)

Edgy DC
Aug 10 2005 09:38 AM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Aug 10 2005 10:14 AM Kristin.


Sort of thing that'll toughen a man up or kill him.

Aug 10 2005 09:43 AM

Ouch, not cool, why would his parents do that?, baseballreference has him as Kris.

Aug 10 2005 09:46 AM

I thought you were kidding, but there it is on

Kristin James (Kris) Benson graduated from Sprayberry High School in Marietta, GA...

Benjamin Grimm
Aug 10 2005 09:47 AM

That's bad, but not as bad as Braden Looper's middle name.

Bill Latham had a girly middle name, too.

Edgy DC
Aug 10 2005 09:52 AM

OK, let's turn this into an ongoing thread.

Gimme an All-Girly-Sounding Met Team.

When you post it, conclude by demanding somebody else post their own Odd Squad --- an All-Redhead Mets Team or an All-Alabama-Born Mets Team. Try not to be too impossibly narrow of course. Those two probably are.

Johnny Dickshot
Aug 10 2005 10:04 AM

P Les Rohr
P Tracy Stallard
P Kris Benson
P Neil Crisley (cut in spring training 1962: real name was Barbra)
P Terry Leach
P Galen Cisco
P Lee Guetterman
P Jesse Orosco
P Jesse Hudson
P Ken McKenzie
P Brian Rose

1B Bart Shirley
2B Tom Herr
SS Lou Klimchock
3B Robin Ventura

OF Pat Howell
OF Gene Woodling
OF Gene Clines
OF Pat Tabler

Gimmee the All-Eyeglasses Mets team

Frayed Knot
Aug 10 2005 10:11 AM

Dickshot to be chastised for leaving Lynn Nolan Ryan off his list; film at eleven.

Aug 10 2005 10:14 AM

And in breaking news, Kelly Stinnett is furious that he wasn't named as the team's starting catcher.

Aug 10 2005 10:15 AM

Should Mackey Sasser be considered? Brett Butler also starred in a long running sitcom, as a woman.

Johnny Dickshot
Aug 10 2005 10:17 AM

I forgot catchers completely. I was just trying to do it before you did.

Now give me an eyeglass team

Edgy DC
Aug 10 2005 10:19 AM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Aug 10 2005 10:35 AM

I'm a Brook Fordyce man myself, but we have to move on.

Hold for four-eyes...

Willets Point
Aug 10 2005 10:19 AM

Johnny Dickshot wrote:
I was just trying to do it before you did.

That's the bane of these types of threads.

Edgy DC
Aug 10 2005 10:32 AM

Mets All-Bespectacled Team
Mookie "Jim Morrison" Wilson*cf
Roy McMillanss
Lee Mazzillilf
Jason "Bono" Phillips1b
Mike "John Denver" Cubbage3b
Jeff McKnightrf
Ed Hearnc
Tim Foli2b
Satoru Komiyamasp**
Skip Lockwoodrp
Juan Padillarp
* "Ouch, my eye!"

**Komi relieved exclusively for the
Mets, but was primarily a starter
in his career.

(Despite the presence of Mookie
Wilson and Lee Mazzilli, this is not
such a good team, and I'm thinking
of adding George Foster, who wore
prescription sunglasses.)

Gimme an All-Moose Mets Team, the biggest Met at every position.

Not just fat guys but meese.

Aug 10 2005 11:39 AM

I just felt compelled to post this -

I remember that Benson collects Swarovksi crystals, and this one is the Celebration Kris bear.

Aug 10 2005 12:06 PM

My favorite was former Ranger star Carol Vadnais, whose wife's name was Reymonde.

Aug 10 2005 06:59 PM

worst met name ever:

Richard Goodhard Becker

Aug 10 2005 08:10 PM

I went to college (honest) with a guy named Dick Hertz.

Aug 10 2005 08:15 PM

The Mariners have a pitcher named j. j. Putz, and the Rangers an outfielder named Kevin Mench, and at least once this season, Putz has pitched to Mench.

Aug 10 2005 08:15 PM

who named their kid rich harden.

and why don't more people call him "dick"?

Edgy DC
Aug 10 2005 08:19 PM

I need meese.

Aug 10 2005 08:29 PM

metsmarathon wrote:
who named their kid rich harden.

and why don't more people call him "dick"?

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Harden is Canadian?

Aug 10 2005 10:42 PM

Yancy Street Gang wrote:
That's bad, but not as bad as Braden Looper's middle name.

i had to look that up and see that it is LaVern and surely that is the worst middle name i have seen in a while.

Aug 11 2005 09:47 AM

Would the best writer covering the "girly" team be Shirley Povich? He was the father of Mauray, and a sportswriter who covered the old Washington Senators.


Benjamin Grimm
Aug 11 2005 09:57 AM

Was it the reference to Laverne that made you think of Shirley?

Edgy DC
Aug 11 2005 10:11 AM

Fine, don't give me Meese. Give me a Jeff Duncan Invitational All Sub-.200 Batting Average Team.

Aug 11 2005 10:44 AM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Aug 11 2005 10:53 AM

Just from the early days alone, you could have the following folks who had a decent number of ABs:
c- Cannizzaro .183 1965 ; JerryGrote .196 1966
1B Ed Bouchee .161 1962
2B Chuck Hiller .093 1966
3B Cliff Cook .142 1983
ss Al Moran .193 1963 (I still think this award should be named after him)
OF Johnny Lewis .193 1966
OF Don Bosch .140 1966
OF Amos Otis .151 in his 1969 cuppa' joe


EDIT: corrected the Johnny Lewis date. Best as I can fugure, he wasn't around during the year of the Norman Invasion.

Edgy DC
Aug 11 2005 10:50 AM


Now, if you will, the next challenge will be.

(This is flopping like a bad musical.)

Aug 11 2005 11:01 AM

Good Morning, Mr. Phelps.

About my next mission:

If I accept, will the Secretary disavow any knowledge?
Will this message self-destruct in 20 seconds?
Can you provide me with pictures so I can select my team?
Was there ever a more memorable theme song than the one written by Lalo Shifrin for Mission Impossible?
Why did Barbara Bain ever marry Martin Landau?

So many questions.
So little time.


Aug 12 2005 11:47 AM

I can't think of a "Big Boy" shortstop

Edgy DC
Aug 12 2005 11:53 AM

Kevin Mitchell (5' 11", 210) would qualify for our purposes.

Benjamin Grimm
Aug 12 2005 12:03 PM

Kevin Darrell Mitchell
Born: January 13, 1962 at San Diego, Cal.
Throws: Right Bats: Right
Height: 5.11 Weight: 210


Edgy DC
Aug 12 2005 12:09 PM

Kevin Elster was also 6'2" and 200.

Aug 12 2005 12:18 PM

A stud.

Aug 12 2005 12:27 PM

I'll go with Kevin Mitchell (no offense, Mr. Elster) Weird, I was going to say because I like Mitchell's first name....

P-Jeff D'Amico
C-Ramon Castro
1B-Tony Clark
2B-Carlos Baerga
SS-Kevin Mitchell
3B-Butch Huskey
OF-Cliff Floyd, George Theodore, Bobby Bonilla
Coach-Frank Howard

How about an "All Curly-Haired Mets" team

Aug 12 2005 12:42 PM

Yes, Peter Gunn by Henry Mancini.

Rockin' Doc
Aug 12 2005 06:09 PM

cooby, I know Tony Clark is a pretty big guy, but he's little more than an snack for some one the size of Mo Vaughn.

Aug 12 2005 07:00 PM

You know, Mo was my first choice (and he's even what I have written on this little scratch pad lying here) but Tony is taller, so I went with that.

I like this, btw, very funny!:

little more than an snack for some one the size of Mo Vaughn.

Plus, if you look at their vital statistics, Mo only weighs about 20 lbs more! Really!

Aug 12 2005 08:46 PM

How about an all-facial-hair team?

Aug 12 2005 08:46 PM

Fine! After my curly haired team!

Edgy DC
Aug 12 2005 09:55 PM










Gimme all Germanic sounding guys.

Aug 12 2005 10:03 PM

Lotta old "boyfriends" in that lineup...

Aug 16 2005 02:26 PM

Tracey Jones woulda been a good teammate for Kristin.

Johnny Dickshot
Aug 16 2005 02:40 PM

Managing that team: Wesley Noreen Westrum