Had a great laugh reading this, Steve Phillips is such a sleaze ball..
|]It only Sturtze when we laugh at radio booth |
The Yankees' pathetic road trip did absolutely nothing to stop the arrogance coming out of the radio booth, where dealing in reality is never a priority.
On Radio Al Yank, fairy tales can come true - as long as you believe your audience has no memory.
When Tanyon Sturtze entered Sunday's contest in the seventh with the Yankees leading St. Louis 2-1, radiocasters John Sterling and Suzyn (Georgie Girl) Waldman went absolutely gaga over the reliever, who they said was a member in good standing of the Yankees' "troika," which includes Tom Gordon and Mariano Rivera.
"They have given up almost no runs," Sterling said.
How often have they pitched lately? And what exactly was the Yankees' (troika? shmoika?) record on the road trip when Sturtze entered the game?
These trivial matters never should interfere with Sterling's brilliant analysis, only topped by Georgie Girl saying: "Sturtze's numbers go down every time he pitches." Okay, now we knew this was the closest thing to a mortal lock, even with a team that only has a lock on mediocrity.
That did not stop Sterling and Waldman from mouthing more superlatives. And when John Mabry was retired on a comebacker to Sturtze, Ma and Pa Pinstripe were reveling in their own analysis.
The tee-hees stopped when Yadier Molina singled. And when pinch swinger Scott Seabol deposited Sturtze's first pitch into the upper deck in left field, Sterling was stricken with instant amnesia. He did the Yankeecentric thing. He immediately went into excuse mode.
"Well, he (Sturtze) is a human being," Sterling said. "He can't be perfect all the time."
Justice, no peace
Over in the Al Yankzeera TV booth Sunday, in the fifth inning with the score tied 1-1, the voices - David Justice and Michael Kay - whipped out their crystal ball.
These scholars have not learned an important lesson: Trying to predict the Yankees' future is an exercise in lunacy. Whatever. The subject never matters to guys who love the sound of their own voice.
Justice launched a solilioquy about the Yankees only needing to win a "close game" against St. Louis to take the series and provide "confidence that they can win close games." Gee, those are words to live by, right?
"You're going home. You've got Pittsburgh coming in. This is not one of the dominant teams in the National League," said Justice, sounding a lot like Hubie Brown. "The Yankees can win that series as well."
Confused? It's 1-1 in the fifth and this guy is talking about taking two of three from St. Louis, then taking a series from Pittsburgh. Maybe Justice has tomorrow's lottery numbers, too. Perhaps he forgot about the Yankees' performance in Kansas City, where they were swept by the Royals - not exactly one of the dominant AL teams.
Kay stuck his beak in. He said if the Yankees went on to win, thereby taking the series, they would "send a message" to all of baseball. The message: "You know what, we're not done yet," Kay said.
Yes, we are sure the entire American League would have been quaking with fear if the Yankees had won on Sunday. And following up on Kay's theory, does the fact they lost mean they are "done"?
Absolutely no surprise Saturday, hearing Steve Phillips, on ESPN-1050, gleefully trash the Yankees.
Phillips doesn't have an ax to grind, does he?
The flawed former Mets GM hacked away at the Bombers, comparing them to the 2002, 2003 Mets teams he "constructed."
Phillips compared Jason Giambi to Mo Vaughn, saying he used to tell Vaughn to pretend foul pops were "cheeseburgers."
Then, in "analysis" that will forever endear him to Yankee fans, Phillips ripped Derek Jeter for sitting out two games in Minnesota (June 4 and 6) because he had a chest cold. "You mean to tell me Jeter had a little cold and couldn't play?" Phillips asked sarcastically.
Who is writing Phillips' material? Bobby Valentine?
During the fourth inning of Yankees-Cardinals Saturday on Fox, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver gave viewers what they never get on local Yankee productions, a comprehensive discussion about George Steinbrenner. ... Joe Torre with a revealing line on YES' Sunday pregame. "The worst thing about this game," Torre said, "is the whispering that goes on behind people's backs."
Originally published on June 14, 2005