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Should I let my officemate out of our bet?

Bret Sabermetric
Sep 01 2005 07:29 PM

Back in the spring, I confided to my officemate, the Yankee fan, that I could not believe that some of you CPFers seemed to think that this Met team would win as many as 88 games this season. "They're gontze meshuggeh!" I told him. Unfortunately he doesn't speak Yiddish, so I translated "Ils sont folles." I kept explaining it in in various languages, and eventually he understood that I did not agree with your generally rosey outlook, and I concluded "There's just no frigging way this sorry baseball team is going to sniff 88 wins this season."

"No way?" he slyly asked.

"No FUCKING way," I said, in a tone that attracted several people from adjoining floors and offices to see what was going on.

"No possible way?" He's a betting freak, he handed out OTB slips to the Preakness at his birthday party because he feels everyone should place some kind of bet every day and he was asserting this belief on his day, so I knew he had a bet in mind. Sparing the negotiation what we devised was this:

If the Mets won exactly 88 games, no money would change hands. If the Mets won 87 games, he would pay me x dollars. (I'm omitting the actual figure because I don't want to scare you folks.) If the Mets won 89 games, though, I would pay him 20x dollars, and so on. For every game the Mets win under 88 games he pays me a single unit, while for every game the Mets win over 88, I would pay him 20 units.

To achieve 88 wins after today's loss, they will have to go 19-10. What I'm wondering is, if I offer to settle the bet today for a mere 4 units (the equivalent of the Mets going 15-14 from here on out, or 84-78 on the year) am I being a nice guy? If you were in his position, would you jump at that offer? Or would you play it out, and maybe lose bigger?

Thanks for helping me out in your moment of distress.

Sep 01 2005 08:58 PM

If you hate the Mets so much then why the hell are you here. This is a Mets-Based Fourm with many hardcore Met fans.

Sep 01 2005 09:04 PM

You gotta tell me how much money we're talking about before I can give you an answer.

Sep 01 2005 09:23 PM

as a big gambler myself i'd tell you to take any settlement that wins you money right now.
if the money odds were 1:1 or even 2:1 against you i'd probably play it out. but considering the odds are so bad for you for each game they finish over 88 its not worth the risk.

Sep 01 2005 09:27 PM

Has he said where the party will be if the Mets break 90?

Sep 01 2005 09:44 PM

did anyone salvage the predictions thread from the old forum? i'd really like to see everyone's picks right now. i said something like 84-86 if i remember right.

Johnny Dickshot
Sep 01 2005 09:55 PM

I was just there and most of that room was killed.

One survivor was Sal coming out strongly in favor of Tom Glavine and winning NOW!!!! while future alledged Wilpon suckups like Johnny Wide Dickshot and Edgy express reservations.


Sep 01 2005 10:25 PM

Wow, I used to post about baseball.

Sep 01 2005 10:27 PM

I just remembered, Patrick McGoogan has a book of mine

Sep 01 2005 10:31 PM

I believe it was McGoohan, no?

Johnny Dickshot
Sep 01 2005 10:31 PM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Sep 01 2005 10:38 PM

We used to do a lot of great stuff.

We all took this thread seriously, did a great job with it, and before it was out had a new rule about Nazis and possibly the funniest post ever, stylistically mocking the cpf mocking of the media, thanks to CF:


Sep 01 2005 10:37 PM

McGoohan, yeah! No wonder he didn't send it back...

Sep 01 2005 10:54 PM

Dang, found 2004 but it seems incomplete.
2005 must have gone with the wind

Willets Point
Sep 01 2005 11:01 PM

PiazzaFan411 wrote:
If you hate the Mets so much then why the hell are you here. This is a Mets-Based Fourm with many hardcore Met fans.

Now now, we take all kinds and Bret was a Mets fan for a gazillion years (we all knew him when) before his recent conversion/bandwaggon hopping. I think deep inside he sticks around because he wants to believe in the Mets and projects all his rah-rah Mets feelings onto us. Either that or he's some sort of bodhisatva charged with taking us all away from the suffering of our collective Mets fandom.

Edgy DC
Sep 02 2005 12:32 AM

Pretty amazing that we adopted that rule and, long forgotten, I suggested again that we adopt it two-and-a-half years later.

Willets Point
Sep 02 2005 12:41 AM

That is funny, another great post by the king!

]Hot Stove Heaters: the CPF

2002: What Went Right?

In its first full season after spinning off the wildly-successful MOFO, the Crane Pool Forum finally hit its stride in 2002 churning out entertaining and intelligent material.

Rookie administrator edgy DC quickly adjusted to the increased pressure and responsibility associated with managing an internet forum and established a smooth, cohesive evidenced by the decrease in the frequency of posts in the Edgy Suxx Forum.

"It means a lot to me," commented DC, "that the Edgy Suxx Forum is basically a technical support forum these days." DC credits focusing on the present as the key to his success. "I try not to think about outdoing MOFO and stuff like that. I just go, you know, one post at a time...concentrate on writing a good sentence, punctuating good...all that other stuff you can't control."

Adding to the success of the CPF was co-administrator Salamander Q. Previously "doc g" during his MOFO days, Q gave a solid performance in 2002 putting to rest all questions concerning whether he could bounce back from his tumultuous departure from MOFO.

"Look, I try to leave the past in the past," said Q, "People are going to say what they [the situation on MOFO] was just a big misunderstanding. That's why I took the new was supposed to be a re-birth...I wanted to turn my image around 360 degrees, you know, to reflect who I really am".

Q managed to do just that. He and DC, along with strong performances from veterans KC, Jonathan Archer, LF, Cookie Mom and Hot Corner, paved the way for a successful 2002.

"We're happy with last season, but now we want to take the next step", said Hot Corner. "We're not settling for anything less than number one this year."

KC added, "yup."

2002: What Went Wrong?

Despite the success the aforementioned veterans, CPF was held back by the disappointing performances by many of its younger crew and one significant veteran poster.

Centerfield, marathon mets and slugger1138 all had disappointing seasons and failed to meet expectations set after successful rookie seasons.

"The sophomore season is always the toughest", said DC, "I'm not happy that the young guys took a step back, but I just tell them to go, you know, one post at a time...concentrate on writing a good sentence, punctuate good, stuff like that."

"I think we were all pressing a bit", commented marathon, "and slugger took it really bad when he realized the new Star Wars movie really sucked. But I think we can bounce back."

Fueling the fire, was the speculation that CF's significant weight gain was the reason behind his poor season. CF, who did not return phone calls, is said to be on a strict regimen to get himself back into playing shape for 2003.

"Look any time you're not producing, people are going to look for a reason", said Wide BG, CF's roommate on the road. "As soon as he starts posting well all those things about his fingers being too fat for typing will be gone....but, yeah, at the end he was really fat."

No weight issues surrounded veteran Norrin Radd's disappointing 2002, but there was plenty of controversy to go around. "I'm not going to lie," said LF, "Norrin had a tough year. Some even thought that Norrin was funnier when he didn't post than when he did."

Growing increasingly surly as the year progressed, Radd's posts started to border on offensive. "It was strange," said JG, "he used to be such a nice guy, he would write poetry. But by the end of the year, he was comparing teammates to genocidal regimes, threatening to eat teammates' livers...and I don't even think he likes liver."

Radd, who would not comment on his performance in 2002, did return our phone call and stated we should "shove our article up our recta and hope for infection."

In Retrospect, the Critical Decisions Were:

1. Trading Bill Metsiac and Ms Met for Patrick McGoo and JG. "We had a good team coming in", said DC, "but that trade put the icing on the cherry. I know Sal was sad to see Ms Met go, but sometimes, you've got to give up value to get value."

2. The wallpaper. "Once we agreed to keep the Cranes, we hit our stride", said Archer, "We felt comfortable and we all knew we could count on the Cranes. It gives us our base, our strength, some might even say, our identity."

3. The Rankings Project: DC's rankings project forced his posters to pay attention to every game. "When you have
a poll to complete every day," said Q, "You can't just take three weeks off."

Three Key Questions for 2003

1. Will Norrin eat a teammate's liver? "I think we all pretty much agree we don't want that", said Bart Giamatti.

2. What to eat for lunch? There can be no question that the Lunch threads can only keep their appeal if the CPF'ers make an effort to vary lunch patterns. Will they be able to do so? Or is this veteran team too locked into their ways?

3. Where is ambler????

Sep 02 2005 05:39 PM

I just hate having to continue to own up to the fact that I thought fonzie should get (and this is a direct quote) "Posada Money"

I was WAY wrong about that one.

Sep 02 2005 08:26 PM

Cooby -- odds are he didn't live to see tomorrow.

Sep 02 2005 08:46 PM

Yeah, he's given me a number and taken 'way my book

Bret Sabermetric
Sep 03 2005 08:43 AM

Update: my officemate wants no part of "out" at any price. So I'm in for the long haul. After last night, I'll make money for every game the Mets finish under 19-9 from here on in.

He's not my officemate as of next Tuesday, anyway. I got moved out of sharing an office to two offices of my own--I got a promotion at work, not much more money, but several fancy titles (I was holding out for "Duke" or "Count") and a lot more space and privacy and lackeys to do my bidding. Let's see if I crack under the pressure.

Sep 03 2005 08:53 AM


Will you be able to get your lackeys to carry that cross for you?

Sep 03 2005 08:55 AM


Bret Sabermetric
Sep 03 2005 09:06 AM


No "crack under the pressure" cracks? I served that one up on a bed of lettuce for you.